Da Turdy Point Buck

Background noise: sipping beer, chorus of laughs and belches, general yooper noises

Lemmie tell ya dat
And you know it's not so much the heat as it is the gosh darn humidity
You know dat

You know when you sit there in the bed and you're just sweaty you know and you go to reach for the water on the nightstand and ya slide right out of bed, and the wife says
"Stop making so much noise you're waking me up, go to sleep"

Well lemmie tell ya
Times like that make me feel like movin up north ya know
Good idea
Yeah I'd do it too

Course then I couldn't watch the Packers ya know, the Packers are
Gosh I like the Packers, I'd do anything for the Packers
Who can forget Vince Lombardi ya know, back in the glory years, not me boy
Ya know

Yeah well anyhow
Gettin' to be that time of year eh?

Yeah I'm a deer hunter how do you do

I got this deer huntin rappin' tale for you
I'm so excited, it's my favorite time of year
I love to freeze my buns chasin trophy deer
But don't clap your hands to the stompin of the feet
Cause ya he's like me he can't keep a steady beat no

I got this great big knife cause the hunting is my life
It's my chance to drink beer and get away from the wife
It's the boys night out acting stupidly

Say now baby baby don't you think maybe how 'bout you and me yeah
Well we partied all night never made it to our bunks and
I was sittin' in the tree stand on the tree dead drunk
Windmill blowin' 45, temp thirty below, I was freezin to death, then it started to snow
So I got down from the tree stand start headin for the truck
And that's when I seen it there, the turdy point buck
The turdy point buck?
Turdy point buck
Turdy point buck
Turdy point buck
Turdy point buck
Turdy point buck

Well he was eight foot tall, weighed twelve thousand pounds, with every step there was a shakin' on the ground
He was so rutiful so beautiful
Strutted right out of my dreams, he was created by God just for outdoor magazines
Now I'm not much for thinkin', no I don't do it often
But I had an idea
To put that turdy pointer in his coffin

Turdy point buck
Hh
Turdy point buck

I couldn't get to my grenades
The howitzer was in the shop
My stomach was tied into a monkey knot
Ya my only hope was betty lou
She was da one
A combination AK-57 uzzie radar lasar triple barrel double scoped heat-seakin shotgun

Turdy point buck
Hh
Turdy point buck
Turdy point buck

Ya dat the women clappin' the the back dere I gotta make dat

Well he was comin' for me gettin' bigger and bigger but my fingers were so frozen I could not pull the trigger
I kicked off my boots fired with my big toe
I was Dirty Harry, John Wayne, and G.I. Joe

Ya dat turday point buck was only 10 feet away
Ya still I couldn't seem to hit him and he wouldn't run away
And after 20 minutes when the smoke cleared
There were hunters on the ground and the world's biggest deer
Standing tall and proud, he looked at me and yawned (oh dear)
And then a flash of white, and there he was, gone

(Cryin and burpin)

Well seven men got up and then one fell down
A big lump of blaze orange, shakin' on the ground
At first I thought he was one of the boys
But it was a no brother good in law man from illinois

Only cheese-heads in here, right boys?
Send him back on the next plane ya know

Did ya see the turdy pointer?
Did ya see the turdy pointer?
Did ya see the turdy pointer?
Did ya see the turdy pointer?

As we jumped into da truck
Sayin' I'm gonna get that turdy point buck
Yeah I'm gonna get that turdy point buck

Hhh
Turdy point buck
Turdy point buck
Turdy point buck
Turdy point buck
Turdy point buck