YTP: The Going Far Far Away Special

[Verse 1a: Ashens, Michael Rosen]
You'll be pleased to hear I held this in my piss stream for the full ten seconds,
and I am pregnant.
This is the original Chocolate Machine Money Box,
or as they called it in France,
the penises,
or as they called it in the Netherlands,
the windmills.
Nice.
That's my review of that then. *clears throat*
You know,
I think I'm going to get loads of fake LEGO and shove it up your bum.
*beep*
Boos!
*beep*
Yes, it is of course a Great British tradition
to drink comically too much alcohol.

[Interlude: Ashens, Written text]
Why the fuck am I still here?
I don't know anymore.
This is not comical
[?] ...and I'm still not dead.

[Verse 1b: Ashens]
But anyway, let's not get into that,
let's look at some Boobees.
BooB.
Yes, this drink is called fucking poison.
Right, I'll write the sus—

[Verse 2a: Michael Rosen]
Stop right there.
You can't SooS!
When we were i erew ew nehW.
When we were in this cafe on holiday, and I LaaL.
And if I used to LaaL,
Why did I stop?
(Too sad for you)

[Verse 2b: Michael Rosen, Michael Rosen (higher pitched)]
Conversations with a prick.
Do you want an apple?
No!
What do you want then?
Two hundred and three magic spaceships...
that drop gold plums.
How about a knife in your head?
...I'll take the apple
Oh yeah, I bet you will.
l.
lliw I I will.

[Verse 2c: Michael Rosen]
Once my friend Harrybo came to school viking away like mad.
We said "What's the matter, what's the matter?"
and he said "Burn the weak ones."
Blimey.
Do you know at the beginning of the week,
there were forty-eight weak ones in my class,
at the end of the weak there were only forty-five of them left.
Yeah. Dy'know—
Eheh, I mean
YeeY. Dy'know at the end of the day you'd be dead.
After a few months of this, Harrybo shouted out
"Boing, boing! Goldfish CaaC" and then he went home.
Huh.

[Verse 2d: Michael Rosen, Ashens, Older Rosen]
Presents.
I gave my mum and dad presents.
I used to go round the shops for hours,
looking at raisins.
Two hundred and three.
Key rings, cloaks, bath SooS, fat red gingers, and tact.
Did somebody say—
Get out!
Shit.
Once, I thought I made a great big hole in the wall.
I was at Sandwiches the Ironmonger's,
and there they were.
Two hot girls.
*clicking to the tune of Megalovania*
Nice.—
No, I bet not actually.
Two things. They were things.
They were both made of gay plums.
Eheh, I mean made of plastic.
One was a milk jug, and it had bright green milk.
Lift the jug, and drink a bit.
*sip* Oh, this is blaagh!
Absolutely not very nice.
So I bought nothing.
I gave nothing to my mum and dad for ChrirhC.

[Interlude: Ashens]
Did somebody say ChrirhC?
I imagine they did, 'cause you know, as a society,
it's one of our favourite things to shove down our gobs to make ourselves recuperate faster from Dementor attacks.

[Verse 2e: Michael Rosen]
They were absolutely not very pleased,
and for a week or so after Christmas,
they used to go 'round telling people
"You see that Michael Rosen? He's all slimy."

[Verse 3a: Countess' Bodyguard, Written text]
And now for a source I've
never used
The Mages' Guild is south of the chapel, by the west wall.
The Fighters' Guild is the Mages' Guild.
I'm the Mages' Guild.
Shh.
You can speak to the k*** near the throne weekdays between eight in the morning and four in the morning and anananananananananand strange animal menaces between eight in the morning and four in the Mages' Guild.
Eugh, little bitch. I wish I could say WooW.

[Verse 3b: City Guard 1, City Guard 2, City Guard 3]
SheehS.
What are you looking for?
The docks, harbour, lighthouse, and castle are outside the Mages' Guild.
Don't know if this is true, but I heard a gang of old female thieves is preying on me.
Welcome to AnnA.
If you need a guard, just look around.
That's why things are so peaceful here.
Just look around, and there's a town guard
Just look around.
I understand the Fighters' Guild is the Ma—
*beep*
Sorry.

[Verse 3c: Imperial Watch 1, Imperial Watch 2, Imperial Watch 3, Michael Rosen]
What is it, citize—
What is it, citizen?
What is it, citizen?
Something I can help you with?
Eheh, I mean
What is it, citizen?

[Verse 4a: Michael Rosen]
Hairybo.
Once my friend Harrybo came to school.
We said "NO Harrybo" and then he went home,
and school was lovely once agaiaga ec And ee dnA And everyreve dnA
Dave said "I'm Dave"
(We know that, you fool!) "evave"

[Verse 4b: Michael Rosen, Older Rosen, City Guard, Mark Sabine]
The Ou.
Owww!
Right, Class X! Right, Class X!
I'm the Michael Rosen. I want plums!
[Instrumental: Rush Subdivisions 8-bit remix]
Louise, it isn't absolutely necessary for your watch to play us Rush just now, is it?
Right, as you know, it was our plan to go out today to the?
(Mage's Guild)
Great big hole in the butt museum,
but then, I remembered I hate you,
so no trip, nothing! !gnihto
Nothing!
I saw that, Mark, I saw that!
Um.
Mervin.
You cannot have Marcia, Charmaine, and Donna in your sandwiches, Mervin.
*beep*
You cannot have aicraM, CharmrahC, and Do
Do
Do as your sex partner,
because that makes three,
and everyone knows you cannot please one.

[Interlude: Michael Rosen]
Name.
My name is—
*pen clatters to ground*

[Verse 5: Mark Sabine]
The word is sus, and it's spelled, um...
I won't spell that.
The word "Marmalade" is actually a bit sexy, like me,
but al
So becau
Se, it'S al
So been aSSociated with Something very Sen
SuouS.

[Verse 6a: Michael Rosen]
He was a nice man, Harrybo's granddad.
He had a hamster full of screws in it.
He had a Scheddle.
He had a shoehorn each.
Maybe he had a ShihS.
Probably.

[Verse 6b: Michael Rosen, Written text]
Right, Class X.
Let's remind ourselves of a few horrible things, shall we?
[Instrumental: Big Bang Theory opening]
[Instrumental: Himouto Umaru-chan Opening]
[Instrumental: Nickelback — Rockstar]
Fuck this.
*gunshot*
Suicide is bad kids don't do it

[Interlude: Ralof, Older Rosen]
Hey, you. You're finally awake.
No, I bet not actually.

[Verse 7: Voiceover
Pete, Older Rosen]
Attention. Calling all epic Fortnite gamers.
Michael Rosen is in a grave,
and the only one who can help is you to save him.
What he needs is your credit card number.
No, I bet not actually.

[Verse 8a: Older Rosen, Michael Rosen]
I'm back.
Hm.
The Deal.
My brother once told me that Mum and Dad have got a baby!
Then, a few weeks later, my brother told me that the baby has pneumonia.
When everyone was out,
I went up to it,
where it was hanging up,
and I put my ear right close up to it.
But it had stopped breathing.
Mum!
Your baby's dead!
And Mum said "Oh, don't worry. We'll get another one, tomorrow."

[Verse 8b: Michael Rosen]
My Dad.
My dad says, after the great big horrible Skyfoogle war was over,
everyone went to the moon to see the rabbits.
Mind you, there's no moon.
I wonder who
Anyway.
Why don't we go on the Internet?
Then how about no?

[Verse 8c: Michael Rosen]
Harrybo.
Once my friend Harrybo came to school dead.
We said "What's the matter, what's the matter?"
There was silence.
Hey, what do you want for your birthday, Harrybo?
Nothing.
Do you want an apple?
Nothing.
Wake up, wake up, Harrybo, your granddad is dead.
Nothing.
Dave said "You can get hamsters without laces"
and we all said "Fuck off, Dave."
Then I said "If you're dead, how come you're here at school?"
At that, Harrybo goes and stands up,
he just stands up!
He wasn't dead.
He was just an asshole.

[Verse 9: Written text]
Well guys, I'm afraid this it it.
I'm starting a new chapter in my
life, and you can consider this my
last video. It's possible it won't be
the last, but please don't expect
more. I feel like it's time for me to
thrown in the towel and let the new
generation of You
Tube Poopers
carry on from here along with the
old veterns who are still making
awesome videos.

I've been doing this for nine years
(making Rosen poops for six, but I
made some awful videos before
that), and this whole thing has
been amazing. At every turn I've
been surprised by how wonderful
you all are. Whenever you tell me
my videos cheer you up, it cheers
me up.

I especially want to thank my
colleagues (The
Plamz
Joker,
Da
Things1, CS188, Captain
Plums,
SerialK, 256pi
Alternate, Sire,
Ronmad, Noice
Drinkz, Mad
Mothz,
Dyland
Cliff111, Plumface-sama,
Caldera11, and many, many more)
for making this
community so welcoming and fun
to be a part of. There's so much
creativity here that I feel the
community won't be poorer for my
absence.

You mean so much to me, and I'll
treasure the memories I made
here.

Thank you.