My Dad's Gone Crazy

[Television static.]
[Eminem begins to snort cocaine.]

[Television Voiceover: Steve King]
"Hello, boys and girls! Today we're gonna talk about father and daughter relationships. Do you have a daddy? I'll bet you do...! Who's your daddy?" [Hailie opens the door.]
"Daddy, what are you doing?"

[Intro: Eminem & Hailie Jade]
Haha!
Okay then! Everybody, listen up!
I'm goin' to hell! Who's comin' with me?!
Somebody, please help him!
I think my dad's gone crazy!

[Verse 1: Eminem, (Hailie Jade) & (Dr. Dre)]
There's no mountain I can't climb
There's no tower too high, no plane that I can't learn how to fly
What do I gotta do to get through to you
To show you there ain't nothin' I can't take this chainsaw to?
(Rahhnnn!) f*ckin' brains, brawn and brass balls
I cut 'em off and got 'em pickled and bronzed in a glass jar
Inside of a hall, with my framed autographed sunglasses
With Elton John's name on my drag wall
I'm out the closet, I've been lyin' my ass off
All this time, me and Dre been f*ckin' with hats off
(Suck it, Marshall!) So tell Laura and her husband to back off
'Fore I push this motherf*ckin' button and blast off
And launch one of these Russians, and that's all
Blow every f*ckin' thing except Afghanistan on the map off
When will it stop? When will I knock the crap off?
{*knocking*} Hailie, tell 'em, baby! (My dad's lost it!)

[Hook: Eminem & Hailie Jade]
There's really nothin' else to say, I can't explain it
I think my dad's gone crazy!
A little help from Hailie Jade, won't you tell 'em, baby?
I think my dad's gone crazy!
There's nothin' you could do or say that could ever change me
I think my dad's gone crazy!
There's no one on Earth that can save me, not even Hailie
I think my dad's gone crazy!

[Verse 2: Eminem]
It's like my mother always told me:
Rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana and codeine
And goddamn it, you little motherf*cker
If you ain't got nothin' nice to say, then don't say nothin'"!
… Uh… f*ck that sh*t, b*tch!
Eat a motherf*ckin' di*k, chew on a prick
And lick a million motherf*ckin' c*cks per second
I'd rather put out a motherf*ckin' gospel record
I'd rather be a pus*y-whipped b*tch
Eat pus*y and have pus*y lips glued to my face
With a clit ring in my nose than quit bringin' my flows
Quit givin' me my ammo; can't you see why I'm so mean?
If y'all leave me alone this wouldn't be my M.O.
I wouldn't have to go eenee-meene-minie-moe
Catch a homo by his toe, man, I don't know no more
Am I the only f*ckin' one who's normal any more? (Dad!)

[Hook: Eminem & Hailie Jade]
There's really nothin' else to say
I can't explain it
I think my dad's gone crazy!
A little help from Hailie Jade
Won't you tell 'em, baby?
I think my dad's gone crazy!
There's nothin' you could do or say
That could ever change me
I think my dad's gone crazy!
There's no one on Earth that can save me
Not even Hailie
I think my dad's gone crazy!

[Verse 3]
My songs can make you cry, take you by surprise
At the same time, can make you dry your eyes
With the same rhyme, see, what you're seein'
Is a genius at work, which to me isn't work
So it's easy to misinterpret it at first, ‘cause when I speak
It's tongue-in-cheek, I'd yank my f*ckin' teeth
Before I'd ever bite my tongue, I'd slice my gums
Get struck by f*ckin' lightning twice at once
And die and come back as Vanilla Ice's son
And walk around the rest of my life spit on
And kicked and hit with sh*t every time I sung
Like R. Kelly as soon as "Bump and Grind" comes on
More pain inside of my brain, than the eyes of a little girl
Inside of a plane aimed at the World Trade
Standin' on Ronnie's grave, screamin' at the sky
'Til clouds gather; it's Clyde Mathers and Bonnie Jade
And that's pretty much the gist of it
The parents are p*ssed, but the kids love it
9 millimeter heaters stashed in two-seaters with meat cleavers
I don't blame you, I wouldn't let Hailie listen to me neither

[Hook: Eminem & Hailie Jade]
There's really nothin' else to say, I can't explain it
I think my dad's gone crazy!
A little help from Hailie Jade, won't you tell 'em, baby?
I think my dad's gone crazy!
There's nothin' you could do or say that could ever change me
I think my dad's gone crazy!
There's no one on Earth that can save me, not even Hailie
I think my dad's gone crazy!
Crazy!

[Outro: Hailie Jade]
Ha ha ha ha!
You're funny, Daddy!