Speak Easy

[Intro]
Uh
Yeah
Uh
My voice sounds really fucking weird right now cause i just woke up
But
Yeah
Its for Hani only cause he liked this beat
Yeah

[Verse 1]
I'm over thinking constant and that shit is detrimental
Be the smartest be the hardest make that more sentimental
If your thoughts are getting dark then make it sound coincidental and
Try to hide the fact that its so loud inside your mental
To be honest my heart is so lost with my conscience i often be wondering i often be talking to god is he watching
Yeah
God are you watching
Look
Don't try to fucking say just stick to rapping cut that shit out
Rap about the money and the bitches on your dick now
Take a couple shots you're on your fourth you're on your fifth now
Don't talk about the things that always got you fucking pissed now
Scribble out that line homie you can do better
Rewrite that shit 100 times and start with new letters
Your soulmate found out that she could really do better but she only walked away cause muthafucka you let her
Don't talk about her don't talk about him
Find some newer topics it's not hard you simpleton
Take it out add some more take it out add some more
Make it sound like you are happy like you had been laughing more
Like this shit don't have you bored like you're not cracking at the core
And make sure that you sound fucking relaxed when you record there's no difference between artist and contortionist this shit is torturous yeah
I'd done lost so fucking much that i don't know if this is worth it
The way i planned it out four years ago was fucking perfect
I'm throwing different number out like i have not been working every fucking day for years i think my fucking brain is burning
Stop cussing so much
Listen to your mom stop cussing so much
Listen to your mom stop cussing so much
Listen to your mom stop cussing so much
It's time to grow up yeah

[Hook]
Speak easy Joshua
Speak easy Joshua
Speak easy Joshua

[Bridge]
Be Happy

[Verse 2]
I'm so close to being happy really think that i can feel it
My suicidal thoughts I try my best to just conceal it
My soul was always broken and i thought music could heal it but this shit is getting stressful piece of mind just seems to seal it so
Lately I've been holding back on writing
I'm worried there's a weakness in my words that they'll be finding
I'm high like all the time and as of late it's less exciting cause i feel myself decaying due to pressures in my mind and
I know they count on me to stay strong
But every time i write it's sounding like the same song
I throw away the time until the fucking days gone cause the pressures on my shoulders always fucking weighs on it's so fucking hard to wake up i can't fake this any longer i can feel my ending near and I've accepted i'm a goner i have dreams where i keep screaming that i'm sorry i'm not stronger my mother and father crying standing there just tryna ponder like
Where they went wrong
It's not your fault its all mine
Nobody could help me from the start I've had a long line of problems in my head and i never thought i could ask for help religion always taught me suicide would put my ass in hell
But is that any worse than what I'm going through
Always been a loner you
Paranoid and hopeless too
No longer think i'm meant for this
They always said i hope its you
Already tried to end it once so maybe I should go for two
The other day I grabbed a bottle for the first time
Never told a soul just started drinking till I learned why
People drown there sorrows in addictions
It gets worse I
Closed my eyes and pictured myself lying in the hearths I
Actually thought that day would be the last stomach full of pills and alcohol guess I was speeding fast down to holding nothing but i felt like i was free at last
The thought of getting better wasn't something I could even grasp

[Hook]
Speak easy Joshua
Speak easy Joshua
Speak easy Joshua

[Bridge]
WHAT THE FUCK DUDE I'M LITERALLY I'M GENUINELY FUCKING CONCERNED FOR YOU RIGHT NOW LIKE I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU GO THROUGH SHIT THAT OTHER PEOPLE DON'T BUT BRO WHAT THE FUCK MAN LET ME HELP YOU LIKE LET ME MOVE THE FUCK IN LIKE RIGHT NOW AND LIKE HOLD YOUR HAIR FOR YOU LIKE EVERY TIME THIS HAPPENS
THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT I'M ALL THE WAY THE FUCK IN ST. LOUIS AND I CANT EVEN FUCKING HELP MY OWN FUCKING FRIEND
WHAT THE FUCK
But yeah anyway I just did the fucking face-time shit

[Verse 3]
Than i get a message from a kid about 16
Josh i really hope your doing well your music gets me
Sometimes i wanna end it and your album helps me through it
And i know you wanna end it so i'm happy you won't do it I
Sat back and thought what the fuck am i doing now
I can help these people with all my music now
I need to go and get some help and start improving now
I have a voice for broken people need to use it now
That's why it's been a minute since I wrote
Cause every day my thoughts are simply gripping at my throat
And lately I've been living like me living is a joke
And nobody would help me cause they simply didn't know
Yeah
Cause they simply didn't know

[Hook]
Speak easy Joshua
Speak easy Joshua
(Promise to get better fuck)
Speak easy Joshua

[Outro]
After you finish throwing up and shit uh
Feel better i love you if there's anything i can do let me know