Beauty Behind My Madness

Intro:
Yeah this is just straight venting. Trying to hold my life together. That's the whole thing

Verse 1:
Shoutout to Rhe Weeknd, beauty behind the madness
I'm traveling round the globe and I don't need at atlas
I'm an artist with these rhymes, I'm just painting my canvas
And you could have kept me in your life, but now I have vanished
Teaching myself Spanish, part of who I am
Know I'm great, that's what you don't understand
But I know that once I make big that'll try and come back
Into my life because the change of circumstances
Gave too many chances, was too romantic
Now I'm gonna do and be everything that you said I can't
Be
Shit, thought you had my back, you just had the knife
Standing right behind me trying to painfully end my life
You're wrong, I'm right, I'm brown you're white
Used to believe in you, until the one night
Life got strange, you had changed
Put me in so much pain, how am I still sane?

Verse 2:
How can I survive, if life's a bunch of lies
Why should I try, if I'm just gon lose my life
Why am I still living, if I should have died
Wait, don't answer that
Cuz I'm blessing, curse, gift, all the above
You're still spreading hate while I'm just tryna love
I know what I want, what I need, and how to get it done
I'm an OG, only Guatemalan, the only one
You don't know me, old me has fallen, the phony's gone
This the new me but always improving but limiting losing
I-95 drives late at night every night
I always stay cruising, I'm in love with the music

Verse 3:
Lyrics coming out, screaming no one hears it
Spirits appear after too much beer, conscious disappears
Reveal my fears, release my tears, trying to drive with no wheel to steer
Road to destruction, anger eruption, you should stay clear
Liver of a Russian, heart beats like percussion for you dear
2016 was tough, had enough, next year my year
Goal's to be abroad again, this time the whole year
Not for you, this for me while still missing Peru
Adore you these my stories lyrics are the truth
Because when I'm with you, I can't seem to speak
Maybe scared that if I vent then I wlll seem weak
And I know that you'll say of course not, you're open
Feel broken and hopeless, also lost my focus
Doors closing, spill emotions, lost in the moment
Jack Daniels how I'm coping, heart's swollen
That's the motion need next flight from Logan

Verse 4:
People fake, I made mistakes, this is fate
Won't stop now, can't stop now, gon be great
They gon hate, they'll be mad, just being me
Said be myself, I am myself, now believe in me
Cuz I believe in you and if you don't know one will
You said you would I said I am, I'm sayin' what's real
{oppin pills, in my feels, how my pain gets killed
Drinker, smoker, thinker, joker, my life's quarter over
Life's a roller coaster, end of the ride's always slower
Rap very well, over skilled, feelings spill
Getting older, not sober, life's not a fairytale
But if it was remember the ugly duckling still gets bills