Lost in love

Somehow I'm starting to feel better but there's still a lot of pain I'll remember...
Losing the happiness I used to have don't know how you forget the small things like a good laugh
Feelings suck but truly I don't give a fuck
Pain keep filling up my head and my heart cause after you left my life just fell apart
Look I tell myself I don't love you but I do and it's to see it but I'm honestly true
I'm tired of having my heart hurt I was in the sky but you threw me down in the dirt
You used me in so many ways I'm not giving a damn bout all these days
Same old shit over and over again
I don't know what I did to be treated like this but I sure as hell know that you gonna be the one I'll always miss
Days go by and my heart hurts more and more I got bruises on the inside from being so sore
My heart hurts a lot I'm writing out more than one thought
I'm sorry I lie and say im fine but you were my everything that made me shine
These lyrics aren't supposed to be heat I'm just writing them out on paper without a fuckin beat
Meaningful messages is what I'm about pain and shit sucks without a doubt
You don't know what I been through but some of this shit about you so what the fuck am I supposed to do?
Lay here each night up until 3 maybe 4 realize that I used like the front door or to
Sit here and write about my life and how you fucking stabbed my heart with words not a knife?
Well fuck it, that's what ima do just write myself out and realize that I'm gonna keep loving you even after the pain you put me through
I don't think I'm gonna get past this shit anytime soon I'm lost like a forgotten balloon
I'm just gonna ride my feelings out but fuck it ima child that continues to pout and really i don't think you care what all this about
Put your self in my shoes for a little maybe you'll understand that what I write down more than a shitty riddle
Someone's heart is not to be played with cause it fucks then up and makes them think that true love just another myth
Lost in these dreams I have but really they bad nightmares that pull me down the wrong path
Following the darkness sitting here right now just sayin fuck this
I need another drink but I'm tired of being lost and hurt but I just continue to sink
Deeper and deeper in the hole fuck I lost everything including my own soul
Can't find the key to my head cause the only place I search is the words that I write coming from me when I lay in my bed
You probably don't care about what I say cause nothing change you so fuck life I guess that's what I'm trying to say
Hate it when I fake a smile cause really I'm not anyone special I feel like Eminem in 8mile
Sorry this a long one starting to find out what the fuck I can I do for fun
Writing and writing till I fall into a million pieces but I'm tryin to get my life together so I'm not tryna write out a thesis