Goodbye

By X (2009)
On album X - Heartbeat EP (2009)

X
*chorus*
I really tried to be a good guy,-
But ever since my child'hood i,-felt so lonely if only they understood my,-
Pain maybe if i had some encouragement i'd feel the passion that'd inspire me so i would try,-
But right now i feel like i could cry,-
Sometimes i wonder if i should die,-and give up on life and say goodbye, goodbyeee cruel, world
I don't fit in or belong here so good bye cruel world,-
Goodbyeeeeee...goodbyeeee
Trust me i am no fool,-
I'm aware that this world is so cruel,-
But i don't understand the reason i was put in this'''place 'n why i'm here,-
It seems to me like i'm jiss'''wastin' my time here (jiss - just)
I feel like my life has no meaning er purpose,- (er -or)
People keep yellin' at me screaming yer worthless (yer - your)
Life in this world is so unfair it's so ridiculous,-
I'm over sick of this,-
I try to enjoy life so much i'm fuckin' dyin' to live a bit,-
I'm tryin' to give a shit,-
But nothin' is goin' my way,-
Shit just keeps gettin' worse 'n there's always somethin' to fuck up my day,-
I feel sick so i seek help from doctors but the motherfuckers don't care about me they just want their damn money,-
'n i can't even trust my own fuckin' family,-
I'm tired of life but i'm scared to die,-i'm so accustomed to this bullshit i'm too despaired to cry,-
And it seems this paranoia'''i feel is real 'n i appear to be hexed
My own mother'''still is stealin' my security checks
It's gotten to the point i only see the worst in people,-i feel like every person's evil,-
I'm pessimistic 'n paranoid to the point i'm always lookin' at life's bad side,-
I look at my empty past and lack of accomplishments and wonder what life would've been like if i had tried,-
'n honestly i wish that i had died-
Instead of my sister,-miranda or on second thought she'd have to suffer instead but goddamnit i miss her,-
I see her in my dreams 'n all these memories are painful but i continue to keep these re'''mind'''ers intact-
Even when pain awakens me 'n compels me to put every emotion into each line verse 'n track,-
I contemplate endurin' life 'n its struggles 'n i don't think it's worth livin' for it,-
I put in so much work but bullshit is all i'm given for it,-
'n i'm sick of takin' this shit,-
It's like i got diarrhea my stomach's upset just thinkin' about every effort i'm makin' is it,-
Worth it?-what's the point of earth it,-
Bothers me 'n i have so many questions,-
I want the right answers 'n it seems only god has 'em lord do you have any suggestions,-
...
Tell me after i die where the fuck am i gonna go?-
Will i be just another memory rottin' in the earth or will i experience eternal bliss or damnation i wanna know,-
...
'cause as it is i go to sleep each night dreamin' of death wonderin' what it would be like if i would die tommorow,-
'n finally be able to say good bye to sorrow
...
I feel like leavin' this world 'cause there's really nothin' to stay for,-
Livin' every day sore-always yearnin' for way more,-
Takin' shots at life hopin' i may score,-
But i always come up way short,-
...
This depraved world isn't worth stayin' 'n livin' in,-
'n i'm sick of dealin' with this constant bullshit my resolve's finally swayin' 'n givin' in,-
...
To my head i put the barrel of a loaded pistol,-
'n pray to god i'll go to a place that's happy 'n blissful,-
I feel like i don't belong in this world i don't''''wanna live in-i don't fit in,- (live 'n)
'n when i feel like i'ma succumb to the stress i try to tell myself i'm not'''gonna give in,-i won't quit 'n-
I'ma continue composin' these songs 'n keep writin' 'till i die 'cause my life is a mess,-
SO i'm always upset attemptin' to release my emotions i'm tryin' to stress,-
But i fail so i'm uptight 'n socially awkward 'cause i'm always too shy 'n depressed,-
There's a war in my mind transpirin' 'n i'm dyin' fightin' against the tears i do cry 'n suppress
I'M ALWAYS TIRED BUT WHEN I'M TOO FRIGHTENED TO REST''''N I'M SCARED I HAVE NOONE TO RUN TO I,-
FEEL LIKE SAYIN' I'M DONE GUH BYE,- (GUH BYE - GOOD BYE)
I WANT HELP BUT NONE OF MY-
FRIENDS UNDERSTAND WHY I FEEL THIS WAY OR KNOW OF THE OTHER FEELINGS THAT I UNDERLIE,-
'N RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE PUTTIN' A GUN TO MY,-
HEAD 'N BLASTIN' IT I AIN'T GONNA LIE,-HONESTLY I WANNA DIE,-
BUT I REALLY WANNA ENJOY LIFE SO I KEEP TELLIN' MYSELF THAT I'M GONNA TRY-
TO MOVE ON BUT I'M OVERWHELMED BY THE OBSTACLES IN FRUNNA MY,- (IN FRONT OF MY)
PATH AND IT MAKES ME JUST WANNA CRY,-
I KEEP PRAYIN' TO GOD FOR HELP 'N ANSWERS BUT HE WON'T RESPOND I WONDER WHY,-
MAN ALL I FUCKIN' WANTED WAS ONE REPLY,-
BUT NOW I'M SUICIDAL AND HOMICIDAL RUMMAGIN' THROUGH MY GUN SUPPLY,-
I ATTEMPT TO CONJURE UP WORDS FOR A SUICIDE LETTER 'N HOW I SHOULD'''SAY GOOD BYE,-
TO EVERYONE BUT ON SECOND THOUGHT I JUST WISH''''THEY WOULD DIE
'N AS I WRITE THESE WORDS I TRY TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT I DON'T CARE ANYMORE,-
BUT IF THAT'S TRUE THEN WHY DOES THE THOUGHT OF DEATH KEEP SCARIN' ME FOR,-
WHEN I'VE BEEN TRAUMATIZED BY DEPRESSION 'N TRAGEDY,-
WHILE OTHER PEOPLE JUST WALK PAST ME WITHOUT AGGRESSION 'N HAPPILY,-
BRAG ABOUT THEIR GOOD TIMES 'N THEIR SILLY HAPPY LIVES,-
IGNORANT OF OTHER PEOPLE AROUND THEM 'N THEIR REALLY CRAPPY LIVES,-
'N DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT PEOPLE LIKE ME EVERY DAY GO THROUGH,-
THEY JUST MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT YOU BASED ON THEIR PRECONCEPTIONS 'N THAT THINK THEY KNOW YOU,-
Sayin' you're special and your life's precious but i honestly don't know why i'm even alive,-
I want to find the will to achieve 'n the drive-
To live but i've lost all motivation and interest to go on so i feel like i have no reason to strive-
I try to take advantage of the happy things in life but i'm bein' deprived,-
Instead people take advantage of me so i feel like a bee in a hive,-
I feel like i don't wanna live yet i continue'''still to breathe 'n survive,-
I've accomplished nothin' if only i had some real achievement to thrive,-
On but i don't so i just mope around lookin' down on happy higher class people at the top with anger while they look down on'''me in delight,-
I respond with indifferent apathy though they don't recognize my agony and pleadin' despite-
My cries 'n respond by'''bein' polite,-instead of relievin' the plight,-
I'm in distressin' in depression stressin' attemptin' expressions tryin' to stress it fuck everyone i want to exceed 'n to write,-
So i'm needin' the might-to succeed 'n to fight,-
So my future won't be bleak 'n unbright-in which case i'm seekin' the light,-
But i'm too blinded by rage hatin' everybody i'm insecure weak 'n uptight,-
'n all i can do is grieve in the spite,-
So fuck it if i finish writin' this letter today i'ma say goodbye to this cruel world 'cause i'm leavin' tonight,-
To go to a place afar 'n what lies ahead is unknown,-
'n i suspect i'ma probably go to hell but i ain't goin' alone*echo alone 3 times*,-
*chorus*
Since my childhood i-tried to be a good guy,-
But noone understood my-pain no matter how much i would try-
To explain 'n it's gotten to this point where i feel like i could cry,-
Sometimes i wonder if i should die,-and give up on life and say goodbye, goodbyeee cruel, world
I don't fit in or belong here so good bye cruel world,-
Goodbyeeeeee...goodbyeeee

Go back to your search "In just sayin I'm sick of these"

Go back to main blog post

Not the right song? Post your comment for help

Showing search results from SongSearch